Having a guest speaker in a class is always exciting. Having the opportunity to learn from others and their experiences are invaluable and our guest speaker in ECMP 355, Carol Todd was no exception. I was inspired mostly by her willingness to talk openly and honestly about the tragic loss of her daughter, Amanda Todd. Amanda was the victim of brutal and persistent bullying both on and offline. When you watch The Fifth Estate episode: A Man in the Shadows, you come to realize that a large portion of her story is common. A typical young person exploring the online world comes to find that she is able to connect with others, many of whom seem friendly and encouraging of her singing talent. This positive reinforcement would have likely given Amanda the confidence online that she struggled with in the world.
Then her story takes a bit of an uncommon turn when we learn about the individuals who choose to engage in this online world for the purpose of bullying and extortion. This is the scary reality of creating a digital identity. Amanda’s story is one that has brought these dangers to the forefront of many parents minds. Instilling fear in parents as their teens explore the online world. What I learned from Carol is that although she recognized that Amanda was interacting with dangerous people online, she never mentions wishing she had prohibited Amanda from accessing the internet.
Many people have expressed that this mistake may have cost Amanda her life. However, the reality is that it is virtually impossible to deny a teen access to anything, let alone technology that is often required to complete homework assignments and communicate with peers. I wondered how things could have played out if she had been prohibited from using the internet and I am fairly confident that would have made things worse, for both Carol and Amanda. Do I think this would have prevented Amanda’s death, absolutely not.
Carol has said that her daughter was likely keeping the bullying and extortion from her mother because, like most teens, she was afraid of her Mother’s reaction. Could things have played out differently for Amanda? Maybe. But from our discussion with Carol, she focuses not on what could have been had Amanda come forward earlier, but how she could have provided further education for her daughter about the dangers of putting yourself online, I found that courageous.
This and many of the conversations we have in ECMP 355 have provided me with a clear understanding that it is our job, as parents and educators to teach children about online responsibilities. We have to be involved in preventing our own children and students from bullying others online and protecting themselves. As we’ve discussed digital identity is only becoming more important and relevant in today’s society and we have a responsibility to show children that it is ok to embrace the online world for its unlimited capabilities while providing an understanding of its potential dangers.
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